Will Not Fade’s 2023 In Review

Time for the annual wrap up. It’s always interesting to look back at the year and reflect on the highlights, and how things have changed.

It’s pretty wild that the covid pandemic seems so long ago now. International bands can tour here again, we don’t have restrictions for gatherings, life goes on. For the most part this is a good thing, but the local music scene was really flourishing for a while, and it feels a lot harder to book gigs now that we have to compete with bands from overseas again for use of venues.

Not that I’m complaining. I saw some incredible bands this year from both Aotearoa and abroad, and that’s how it should be.

I’ll start with bands I saw overseas. I’ve loved Gyroscope ever since I discovered them as a teenager. They’d played in NZ a few times but I was too young to go at the time. They’ve sat firmly on my bucket list of bands to see for a long time now. So when they announced that they were playing Breed Obsession – the album I loved so much – in full, I was sold. I made the trip to Melbourne and it was everything I’d hoped for. Honestly, so, so good. “Snakeskin” was an obvious highlight – featuring an appearance from original drummer Rob Nassif. “Australia” was a big singalong moment. And surprisingly enough, album closer “Time” went hard. Usually it’s very soft, but for an album comprised mostly of ballads, the set was pretty heavy. I went to the matinee show the following day as well, which was just as great again. Bodyjar also played their blistering punk rock which was a lot of fun, but my trip was about Gyroscope and it was well worth it. It was also nice to finally meet fellow music writer Gilbert Potts in Melbourne.

I managed to see Frank Turner play twice this year. The first time was a last minute solo event after Counting Crows cancelled their gig (Turner was the support act), and the second time was the first leg of his international tour promoting his most recent album. He has long been one of my favourite artists so you can imagine how pleased I was to see him play twice.

Melodic hardcore band La Dispute played a packed out show at Meow, reminding me of Zeal – the local youth venue I’d last seen them play at. Their intensely poetic brand of hardcore always hits hard, and I doubt anyone walked away unmoved after witnessing their delivery of “King Park”.

Guitar Wolf and Otoboke Beaver brought their brands of crazy Japanese rock and roll. It was my fourth time seeing Guitar Wolf, and the third time I’ve been part of a human pyramid onstage at one of their gigs. Otoboke Beaver was just as wild in their own way, in a heaving sold out show, screaming their heads off as they played frantically in their brightly coloured dresses.

Highly Suspect were blown away at their demand from NZ fans, selling out venues to the point that they kept having to upgrade to places with larger capacities. It was fun to be in a big arena rock show, enjoying the bluesy rock of a larger scale band.

Looking at NZ bands, I’d managed to catch the ever-awesome Shihad twice. They headlined the rock stage at Homegrown festival, and also played their debut album Churn in full in Auckland a few weeks ago at the bFM radio station fundraiser. They namedropped Jaz Coleman who had produced Churn and I almost wet myself, thinking that they were going to play a Killing Joke cover with Coleman on vocals. It’s not implausible – Coleman does live in Auckland. But it didn’t happen – they were paying tribute to KJ guitarist Georgie Walker who had passed away recently.

The other highlight of the Save The B night was Princess Chelsea. There were so many musicians onstage, it was hard to know where to look. We had someone playing the gigantic organ at the rear, a harp, multiple guitars, bass drums, glockenspiel, and almost everyone contributed to vocals. It was so layered that the music was borderline doom, and it was awesome. Princess Chelsea is playing Meow in Wellington in a few months and I’m super keen to attend and see what the band is like in a radically different setting.

I saw Lorde play at TSB Arena. I’ve never been much of a fan, but I was curious. She’s one of the biggest names in music, and I wanted to see what that looks like in a live setting. The stage set was interesting and Lorde has clearly rehearsed over and over. But ultimately I was pretty bored. There were lots of musicians onstage, but we heard a lot more backing track than live instrumentation, and the music just isn’t played in a way that the musos could put much energy into their performances either.

My favourite local band of the year is Crying Club. They play infectiously fun emo/pop-punk. I’ve had their single “Munchies” playing on repeat, and they put on a great show.

Similar to Crying Club, Cherry Punch play furious punk music that I’d liken to The Runaways crossed with Motorhead. Everyone in the band brings something unique to the experience and they’ve been playing a lot, so I can see them building a profile quickly. I was fortunate to play in a band that toured with them earlier in the year and it was so fun being able to see them play so much.

Bulletbelt released their album Burn It Up, which made it to the no1 position on the music charts, which is a great achievement for any band, let alone a band that plays a less mainstream genre like metal. I really enjoyed the album release show that they played at Valhalla and was pretty chuffed to see that one of the photos I’d taken of the band is on the record sleeve on their vinyl pressing.

Bulletbelt promo pic

It was really cool to see my friend Vorn seeing some big successes this year, including international tours with Crash Bandihoot, The Wellington Sea Shanty Society, and releasing a great new album with his own eponymous band. All of these bands are fantastic and I love seeing them doing well.

I tagged along with Planet Hunter on a mini tour up north for Kaitaia Metal Fest. It was such a great time. Planet Hunter are amazing musicians and great guys so it was really fun to spend a few days with them in the van and see them play new material each night. I wrote a tour blog, but here’s an account of the Metal Fest from event organiser Frankie O’Malley featuring a few of my photos link.

Lastly, I’d like top draw your attention to a new Wellington metal band, FVKVSHIMA. They’re incredibly technical and groovy, drawing upon influences like Killing Joke and Meshuggah. Keep an eye out for their upcoming debut single, “Quato”

It was fun to be part of FromThePit again. Special thanks to Maeve O’Connell for organising the Wellington night at Bats Theatre, as well as the FTP team who work hard to organise, collate, and arrange sponsors and showing opportunities every year. It’s a real blast being part of a community of creative people who want to celebrate the arts and the talented photographers involved in the music scene. I spent some time in in the record store Reel Groovy a few weeks ago when I was in Auckland and it was cool to see some of these amazing photographs still on display at the top of the escalator.

Looking forward to 2024, I’ve got some exciting times lined up.

I’m going to some big arena gigs like Foo Fighters, Blink 182, possibly Iron Maiden. And I’m glad to see some post-rock bands like Mogwai and Russian Circles coming. And I’m super pumped to see Aussie punks Private Function are coming to NZ as well. They’re incredible. Don’t sleep on that tour if you like punk music.

I’m looking at possible heading back to Europe in May for dunk!fest. Watch this space…

Thanks to all my readers, near and far. I’ve been putting my energy towards other things like photography, booking gigs, drumming in bands etc.. but it’s always humbling to see that people take the time to read my ramblings when I share my thoughts on the music that I’m so passionate about.

Joseph’s top song of 2023

Taylah: Okay

I actually prefer this version recorded at Taylah’s flat over the studio version, but both are excellent

Joseph’s top album of 2023

Winter Dust: Unisono

Planet Hunter Northern Tripping – Auckland and Kaitaia

Recently I’ve been reading breakfastandtravelupdates, the tour blog from The Beths bassist Benjamin Sinclair. It reminded me of the joys of tour blogs, so I decided that I should document the Planet Hunter Northern Tripping tour in May. They released debut album Moscovium late last year (review from Craig Leahy), and are finally heading out on the road to bring their music to the masses.

I consider Planet Hunter the best band in Wellington. It’s an easy choice, as far as I’m concerned. Few bands come close in terms of entertaining live performance or musicianship. Their songs have such strong groove that they’ll get people dancing, while moving in an out of weird time signatures.

They’ve been around for a long time now, and three of them have history playing together in previous band Mangle and Gruff. Years of experience writing and performing together have melded them into a tight unit who excel as a musical force to be reckoned with.

Whammy Backroom, Auckland

w/ Thousand Limbs and Empress

Cormac had created an itinerary with times, destinations, stops, addresses etc… We had a lot of driving ahead so it made sense to have all this planned. I did find it funny that Cormac had included “drop kids at school”.

Cormac has a Toyota Voxy, a big van that fit the five of us, our music equipment and our personal gear. It’s been named “The Mothership”, and is spacious and smooth to drive.

L-R: Me (Joseph), Will (guitar), Jed (bass), Cormac (vocals, guitar), Dave (drums)

We created a driving playlist to listen to. The rule was that no band could be repeated, although there were work arounds eg Ozzy Osbourne featured both solo and in Black Sabbath. The playlist is called “Tanks and Rainbows”, named after things we saw whilst driving Desert Road. It’s a pretty wild mix, but it was a lot of fun to listen to during our many hours on the road.

The drive to Auckland went well. We stopped at Taihape for the obligatory photo in front of the gumboot. Tokoroa had impressive looking wharepaku, underneath a taniwha-looking cover.

Auckland traffic sucked, which is to be expected. But we got to the venue around the time we had planned for. Parking also proved difficult, but isn’t that an intrinsic part of any Auckland experience? I asked an Auckland based friend for kai recommendations close to the venue. He suggested Sneaky Snacky, directly across the road. I ordered a fried chicken burger with a donut for a burger bun, and fries with MSG. My arteries weren’t happy about it, but my mouth was in heaven.

A heart attack in food form. A delicious one, at that

Whammy Backroom was an interesting space. Three venues: Whammy, Whammy Backroom and The Wine Cellar all come off St Kevin’s Arcade in the Auckland CBD. They’re fairly small spaces, all connected and run by the same people. Paddy the sound tech told me that sometimes there will be a mini festival event, with three stages running concurrently, and attendees able to move between them.

One of the disadvantages of the three venues being so closely connected is that lots of people got confused and went to the wrong venue. One of my friends accidentally went to the other Whammy, and the guy on the door was difficult to deal with when we explained the mistake, and refused to refund her until I really put the pressure on.

Empress

Empress opened the night, a duo from Kirikiriroa. The two of them have played together for a long time, previously in a trio named Cheshire Grimm. Lora the vocalist used looping pedals with her guitar to build the sound up while Craig maintained the beat on drums. My favourite song’s lyrics were quotes of things people had written on community Facebook pages, which I found very funny. It reminded me of Housewitches.

Post-metal Thousand Limbs took the stage next, a post-metal quartet. Two of the guys are highschool music teachers, and some of their students were playing next door at Whammy, with a handful of their other students also attending our gig. This is super wholesome and indicates that they must be awesome teachers. Thousand Limbs were great, and they reminded me of some of the acts I’d seen at dunk!USA in Vermont.

Thousand Limbs

Anyone who knows Planet Hunter will know that Cormac always comes up with crazy visuals. He’d specially made a new mask for this tour, which featured the face from a CPR dummy. He looked glorious onstage, with a silvery flowing poncho, and elongated head with the creepy dummy face. It was hilarious to see him twerking to the music in this get up, but I tell you what, it adds a certain je n’est ce quoi to the performance.

Planet Hunter Whammy Backroom

We had been told not to start the gig before 10pm, we think possibly so it wouldn’t disrupt the gigs at the two connected venues? So it went late. Planet Hunter started at 11.45pm. We were spent by the end of it, but the set was great. We stayed with Cormac’s dad on the North Shore.

Kaitaia Metal Fest 3

w, Teraset, FNA, The Shard

We got up early for the drive to Kaitaia. We knew the far north had been hit hard by cyclones earlier in the year, and weren’t sure what to expect about the roads. I don’t know those roads, but to be honest, other than a small detour and lots of potholes, the drive was pleasant and easy.

Will told me that this animal is a zebra.

On the way up we stopped at an exciting South African shop that had animal sculptures and biltong. But the most exciting stop was Kawakawa. It has the famous Hundertwasser toilets (visually appealing, but very smelly), a train going through the middle of town, and a painting of a cat anus on a public bench. All three of these things made me very happy.

Kawakawa, home of the famous Hundertwasser Toilets (near this location)

Arriving in Kaitaia, we had to take the obligatory photo in front of the Kaitaia Metal Fest 3 billboard. Frankie the promoter came out to great us and gave us a wee care package that included Kaitaia Fire hot sauce, honey, and a voucher for a breakfast at a bakery the following morning.

The Kaitaia MetalFest3 Billboard. L-R: Jed (bass), Will (guitar), Dave (drums), Cormac (vocals and guitar), me (Joseph)

Collards Sports Bar was a cool space. There was a small stage in the corner, and it was suitably sized for the audience we were anticipating, along with a covered outdoors smoking area. After soundcheck we dropped our things at our accommodation and had a rest. It’s weird that after having sat in the van all day, it felt so good to just sit down on the couch.

The Shard

Arriving back at the venue, we were pleased to see a great turn out. Ticket sales weren’t a great gauge of how many people to anticipate, lots of people just rocked up on the night. A few people had mentioned to me that the Northland music scene was monopolised by reggae, but it was a solid turnout and clear that many metalheads resided in the area.

The Shard started the night off with a bunch of metal and rock covers. It was a short but fun set. I was particularly impressed with how well the Rob the vocalist nailed his impressions of the singers of each band that they covered.

FNA

FNA stands for Far North Automotive. Again, the vocalist proved to be the stand out member of the band. I’ve been teaching myself to sing while I drum in recent years, but my skills are nothing compared to what we saw from Grant the drummer during the FNA set. I was in awe of his abilities, holding down the beat as he belted out the vocals. They roped in a mate for guest vocals during a cover of Rage Against the Machine’s “Killing in the Name of”, which was extremely well received, as you’d imagine.

Teraset

Teraset were a last minute addition, stepping up to fill in for Teeth and Nails, who had to pull out. You may recognise drummer Will Stairmand, who hosts The Distorted Transmission. They were easily the heaviest band of the night, and the dancing was replaced by more headbanging.

And Planet Hunter finished off the night. I loved seeing the looks of surprise on everyone’s faces when Planet Hunter started. Their sound is impressive enough – Grant from FNA could not get enough of our Dave’s drumming- but Cormac’s crazy outfit was enough to make people do a double take as well. Cormac does lots of squatting and big movements as has dances to his music, and I got a real kick out of seeing the entire front row reflect his movements, almost like an aerobics class.

All in all it was a fantastic night. Good turn out, and everyone had loads of fun. Props to Frankie for doing such a stellar job of organising and promoting the event, and hopefully Kaitaia MetalFest 4 is ever bigger and better!

Planet Hunter at Kaitaia MetalFest3

Sunday

Sunday. Time for the biiiiig drive home. We’d been up pretty late but the partying hadn’t affected anyone too much, and we were still buzzing from the successful night before. We stopped into Coast to Coast Bakery and grabbed some pies for breakfast – Frankie had generously arranged for a voucher – before hitting the road. Thankfully the roads were still passable and we missed the crazy weather that hit not long after we left. I don’t have too much to report on the drive. It was a long way to go and we tried to minimise stops. I did insist that we stop at Matakana in Kerikeri for the guys to buy treats for their better halves. You know how it is: happy wife, happy life. This hopefully ensured that we have ongoing permission to do of these weekends away in the future. We enjoyed adding songs to our Tanks and Rainbows playlist, talking rubbish, taking in the scenery and throwing metal salutes to every herd of cows that we passed.

Planet Hunter are playing Moon1 in Wellington on Saturday 20th May

UPDATE: Some of Joseph’s photos were used in this NZ Herald article, which gave good coverage of Kaitaia Metal Fest 3: https://www.nzherald.co.nz/northland-age/news/heavy-metal-alive-and-well-in-the-far-north/3RPKET23JJHGDDTUSHEZKLYKH4/?fbclid=IwAR2-Nou-e-NSxb4-RRsWhtdBeuRU5S4b1elN7ePruCuHRrzJjyVWBOdzObw

Planet Hunter Northern Tripping Tour 2023

Wellington’s greatest live rock band is taking their show round the North Island this May, with their Northern Tripping Tour. Having released their incredible album Moscovium in September, they’re finally taking it around the North Island and treating music fans with their unmissable shows.

Come check out their hypnotic grooves, infectious riffs, and witness their out-of-this-world sci-fi stage presence!

Whammy Backroom, Auckland

Friday 5th May

with Empress and Thousand Limbs

Tickets: https://www.undertheradar.co.nz/gig/83447/Northern-Tripping.utr

Kaitaia MetalFest 3

Saturday 6th May

Also featuring:

Teraset
F.N.A
The Shard

Tickets: https://www.eventfinda.co.nz/2023/kaitaia-metalfest-3/kaitaia

Moon, Wellington

Saturday 20th May

with BXRT and Mana Mushroom

Tickets: https://www.undertheradar.co.nz/gig/83472/Northern-Tripping.utr

Planet Hunter’s website: https://planethunter.band/

Will Not Fade’s 2022 in Review

My favourite gig of the year wasn’t a “big” band. It was The Prog Alliance Tour featuring Claemus, Elidi, Pull Down the Sun and distance. It just ticked all my boxes. Great musicians playing prog and post-rock. It must have taken a lot of planning to organise a nine date tour for bands from three different cities, but the Wellington one was a great success and I’m proud of what they pulled off. distance also put out a stellar album, everything in exchange for nothing in August. Really cool to see how that project has evolved from a lockdown bedroom project into a fully fledged amazing band.

Sam Butler of distance at Valhalla

Speaking of awesome local prog-rock, Ovus dropped a tasty wee EP earlier in the month. Josh the bassist lives in Christchurch, but I’m holding out for an EP release gig sometime soon.

I’ve been hyping them up for a few years now, and Adoneye finally released their long-awaited EP this year. It’s a beaut. It’s a shame that the band members parted ways and didn’t get to celebrate the wonderful music that they deserved to.

Alexisonfire continue to deliver the fire with recent album Otherness. I cannot get enough of the single “Sans Soleil”.

Reliqa were my favourite new discovery of the year. They killed it at Monolith Festival, and their new EP is fantastic.

Reliqa Monolith Melbourne by Will Not Fade

Reliqa at Monolith Festival in Melbourne

Planet Hunter dropped their debut album. They’re Wellington’s best live band, so of course I’m a huge fan. And they managed to capture the energy and talent and distill it all into a fantastic record: Moscovium.

I’ve been friends with Vorn for many years now, and follow his projects with great interest. I actually joined one of his bands – Crash Bandihoot – on a brief tour in May. One of Vorn’s other bands, The Wellington Sea Shanty Society have enjoyed some relative success in recent years after the song “The Wellerman” started trending. I convinced Vorn to let me contribute backing vocals to their latest EP, so was very excited when that was released in August. I’m not credited, so maybe they weren’t impressed with my singing abilities? Anyway, TWSSS annual shows at Breaker Bay Hall have become a highlight to look forward to every year. This year was just as great as the others I’ve been to, and I also won best dressed – wearing a sexy mermaid outfit that I’d painstakingly created.

The Beths are progressing from strength to strength. They played The Opera House in Wellington recently in support of their third album – a big step up from the usual smaller venues they usually play here. And they crushed it. Seated venues are usually a poor choice for fun, energetic bands, but it wasn’t a problem.

The Beths at Peachy Keen, Wellington, 2021

Jakob rule. Returning to San Fran – their home venue away from home – they gave us everything we’ve come to expect of them, and also played a few new tracks to whet our appetite for the upcoming album. And Jakob bassist Maurice Beckett also released an awesome album from his side project, Desbot. Seriously worth checking out.

I was upset that Amy Shark cancelled her NZ tour with no explanation (and I’m still waiting for a refund, well over a months after the cancellation, and roughly a month after the scheduled gig date), but that freed me up to catch Avantdale Bowling Club that night instead. Playing the fantastic TREES album, ABC put on a stellar set of jazzy hip-hop. I love hip-hop with a live band, and this band was goooood. Also, it was pretty funny seeing people smoking it up and having a great time dancing and singing in a venue that feels as “classy” and conservative as the St James Theatre.

I caught my friend Taylah playing a bunch of times this year and was consistently blown away but the sheer talent that Tay and her band showcase. Always a fun night, and her songs are irresistibly infectious.

Taylah with Sam Nakamura at Rogue & Vagabond

2022 was a tough year for me on a personal level. Covid finally hit New Zealand and brought us up to speed with the rest of the world. This meant a lot of cancelled gigs, and missing a bunch of gigs that I was too exhausted to attend while I recovered from the virus. But I’m in a good space at the moment. I’ve been working with some local bands to build their profile and book gigs, and enjoying the challenge of discovering what success can look like within the creative fields.

The NZ borders opened and we finally had international bands return. I saw The Bronx in May – the first international band I’d seen in years. And I went across to Melbourne for Monolith Festival in August. It was an amazing opportunity to see a handful of my favourite bands on the same day, and a great reminder of what I had been missing.

The NZ music scene has flourished in recent years. Annual events like Newtown Festival and Cubadupa were the biggest gatherings in the world at the time – because NZ was covid-free and didn’t need to worry about social distancing – but sadly both were cancelled this year. But given the space, local bands had the chance to prove themselves worthy. I’m happy to see international bands touring here again, but it already feels like local bands are now struggling to book shows with reintroduced competition in a market already lacking enough venues for demand.

I’m not sure what 2023 will throw us. Life has been fairly unpredictable and anxiety-inducing for some time now. But I’m looking forward to releases from PROKOP, my favourite Italian post-hardcore group Winter Dust, and I can’t wait to see blues sisters Larkin Poe play in April. I saw that Trombone Shorty is coming to Australia as well, and hoping that he makes it over to NZ.

words and photos by Joseph James

Album Review: Planet Hunter – Moscovium

Another special one today whanau, far out I got an advance copy of the new Planet Hunter album that I’ve been spinning this week. I’m not too sure how many shows around the country Planet Hunter has done, so if anyone from outside of Wellington is reading this and doesn’t recognize the name, man give this fucking thing a spin and get woke to one of Wellington’s sickest bands.

Which Dragon Ball Super arc exactly was the Planet Hunter in?

Does this mean we won’t get an Aethea reunion?

What happens when stoner rock bands sound like they don’t smoke weed?

Let’s find out together

Image: Garry Thomas Photos

Planet Hunter – Moscovium

Planet Hunter is a complete anomaly man, they exist in this super weird space where they’re stoner enough for all the people who’ve never worn hemmed pants in their life to lose their fucking mind over them, but also calling them a stoner rock band actually kinda negates all the super cool shit they do. They’re like the guy at the show who gets way too drunk and annoying, does a few snortskies and turns into a maniac, so someone gives him a spliff just to not have the same fucking conversation AGAIN then post-spliff he’s actually really interesting and has dope riffs. That’s Planet Hunter.

I first got turned onto Planet Hunter because homie Chris Roberts, who most of you probably know by his stage name of “Dreaded guy who got murdered on Glassblower’s music video for Gatekeeper”, text me at like 2am and said they were basically the best band he’d ever seen and I have to see them. So obviously I didn’t go see them for like another 6 months, but man I can’t even explain how much I fell in love with this band when I finally saw them.

Planet Hunter is made up of William Saunders on guitars, Cormac Ferris on vocals Jed Van Ewijk on bass and David McGurk on the drums. God damn that’s a strong line-up, Will is the kind of guitarist that you know will always have the best tone of any show he’s on, but you have to avoid him after the set because you know he’s going to want to talk about his pedalboard. Jed is a monster bassist, I always remember when I first moved to Wellington he was playing in Aethea and even though they had the sickest live DM live show (Fuck Pixelated Stripper and Ringbinder were bangers) around at the time, they used to cover the Alex Kidd theme song too and everyone would always lose their mind so much harder at that, I love thinking about him still being punished about that 15 years later OH MAN YOU’RE THAT GUY ALEX THE KIDD RULES I LOVE SEGA MASTERDRIVE. I don’t actually know David well, so I really don’t wanna rag on him just in case he’s a pre-workout kind of guy and smashes my head in, but he’s a wicked drummer. Planet Hunter are also super brave because they’re the first band ever to my knowledge to have an actual art installation on vocals. Mark my words in 30 years people won’t be speaking about Marina Abramović without the mention of Cormac Ferris from Planet Hunter.

Image: Will Not Fade

Alright let’s talk about this album man, it’s a doozy.

Like everyone else in New Zealand, I also had to google the word Moscovium, because fucking hell, what? Turns out it’s a highly radioactive metal that only a few atoms have ever been made. Also turns out it has no biological purpose, just like Will’s dating life, I guess that’s why they named it that? Fuck yea concept album.

Generally, I like bands that are pretty fucking miserable, I fucking love the kind of band you have to google their political views before you buy their merch just in case, you know? Ugh, then having some punisher tell me I should separate the art and the artist like their opinion matters in the slightest while they’re probably quoting fucking Fight Club at me. But man, Planet Hunter isn’t that – There were several points during the album that I actually felt like it was trying to fix me. Bad news Planet Hunter, you fucking didn’t okay, and I resent you for trying. It’s got this really uplifting energy without ever being happy or annoying. Like crushing a zopiclone and going to Timezone instead of smoking weed and sitting in a tree like every stoner band wants you to do.

Man, Planet Hunter exist in such an interesting space, they don’t quite fit any specific genre tag without feeling like you’re doing them a disservice. The only way I can explain it is you know how all the metal and hardcore kids in their thirties had their music tastes all fucked up by the Tony Hawk 2 soundtrack? Planet Hunter are the kids who grew up on Syphon Filter. Syphon Filter ruled man, but don’t play it now because it sucks ass, I know you think it’s probably aged okay and after hearing me say this you’re gonna download it, but fight that man, it sucks now, you strafe with the left and right bumpers for fucks sake. God, it sucks so hard now. Not Planet Hunter though, they’re alright.

The album starts off so hardout strong with Humans of the Wild that wouldn’t feel out of place on any Melvins album when they had Big Business as a rhythm section, which is also their best era don’t even try tell me their new stuff is still good, they’re like a Melvins parody tribute band at this point.

Cormac’s performance on Moscovium is really fucking great man, every time I hear him sing I can’t help but think of an awkward interaction I had with him after the second or third time I saw Planet Hunter. I was drunk as and doing something else I won’t post just in case I ever want to apply for a job again, I went up to him after a set and gave him what I thought was a bangin’ compliment. I told him that I fucking loved his vocals so much because they’re clearly inspired by Maynard James Keenan but they’re not annoying as fuck and trying to sell me shit wine. I think that’s something Planet Hunter does really well, you can hear that they wear their influences on their sleeves, but it never just sounds like that band. Like you can hear Alice in Chains, but it’s not whiney and 47 years old. You can hear Tool but it’s not exhausting. There are hints of the more intense stoner rock bands like Red Fang and Sasquatch but the influences never overstay their welcome.

Also don’t fucking @ me for the Tool jab, I have no opinion on Tool and I can’t be fucked talking to you about them. You’re just mad your favourite band hasn’t had a good album since 2001.

The Ocean is a big standout on the album for me, starting with what people would assume is a synth but I fucking KNOW Will used a bit-crusher on his guitar to get that sound to save money. TELL ME I’M WRONG WILL. By the time the bridge hits this shit becomes oppressive, in the best way possible. The bridge is absolutely crushing and I could listen to that riff all day, in fact someone make me one of those 10 hour supercut Youtube videos of just this riff. Name it ‘Planet Hunter Fappening Leak’ so only the true fans will find it.

I’m a massive fan of Will’s guitar playing on Moscovium, his tone is as flawless as his life choices are flawed. He always seems to be playing exactly what the song needs in the moment instead of appealing to his ego and putting flashy shit all over it, but when he needs to be flashy he’s right there with a texture or a lead that becomes the centre of the track. Don’t even get me started on the chorus riff of Droning, it’s shit like this that helps differentiate Planet Hunter from any other band in the perceived genre.

Jed has been such a mainstay in the Wellington scene that you can guarantee if he’s playing on an album the performance will be tight as fuck, and his bass performance here is fucking awesome. His tone is never overwhelming but always present. The way him and David are in sync is perfect and best represented in a song like Valley and I fucking love that David doesn’t fall into the ‘what would a stoner band do’ groove, his performance is unpredictable and can go from classic stoner vibes like in Dying Since Birth to frantic psychedelic passages almost reminiscent of Earthless in songs like Droning.

I’m still getting used to reviewing albums I don’t fucking despise, so please bear with me while I find my voice with this style, and this isn’t some toxic shit about not being able to say nice things to people, I tell my friends I love them all the time, fuck I’ll kiss all of you on the lips right now DM me for my address don’t even fuckin’ try me. But I tell you what, being nice about an album is fucking hard work.

Is this album going to be for everyone who reads this? Fuck no, I know how broken most of you are. But man, I can’t stress this enough – Give this album a spin, even if you’re a beatdown lizard death metal gatekeeper hating on Stranger Things kids. There’s SO much here to love, so many genres being represented in a cohesive way and there’s layers to this album that every time I listen to it, I find more stuff that I love. Songs like The Ocean have the heaviness that make you want to close the curtains and reassess things, the songs like Humans of the Wild and Droning are pure party energy to impress your friends with, and we all know you’re struggling to impress your friends with your shit Soundcloud bedroom recordings.

Rating – 420 but also had 9 beers out of 5

Favourite track – The Ocean